You know... I was listening to Only by NIN and I was forced to think.
The line,
Less concerned about fitting into the world,
Your world, that is, 'cos it doesn't really matter anymore...
is quite all right, at first... Then if you start peeling away at it you're gonna end up ruining your grooving session and end up with a book instead!

Yeah, my experience exactly.

Anyway... Blogger's got a scheduled outage sometime soon and I don't want my posts to be collateral damage.
I was reading one of Huxley's works and he was writing something about The Whole Truth.
He argued that The Whole Truth does not necessarily seek to personify the characters in a narrative as heroes or supermen... It is the whole truth that (sic) caused Homer's Odysseus to expertly cook a meal and eat it with his sailing fellows, then after the meal they remembered their six companions that had been snatched from the ship and devoured... And they began to weep and howl... And thus their tears brought upon them soft sleep.

Well I'm sure I'm the kinda writer who'd dedicate an entire CHAPTER to just the lamentation of those poor guys and how the sailing of the ship, the subsequent landing and meal, etc etc was put in jeopardy because of the loss of those six men... However, since Homer is embellishing his narrative with only The Whole Truth, the events after their loss are not just superficial, but practical... Men know that even after having to witness such a horrific end of their comrades, they still have to eat... To sleep... To rest...

Then came the question of five relatively modern literary artists... Lawrence, Gide, Kafka, Hemingway and Proust... Five writers as different from each other as the various hues in the primary color wheel... Each with his own sensibilities, convictions, way of putting things across (sic) and so on.

Yet they all utilize The Whole Truth. That is what binds them together. And that is what makes their work instantly click with our own mind because, The Whole Truth has a nasty habit of making itself felt in our OWN mentality... because we can infer that this is definitely true, or would be true, in such and such a situation... For example... If I were one of the fortunate crew sailing with Odysseus... I would be damned hungry, regardless of my partners dying or not.

Leave the Truth to people who think they know it best.

And Ekta Kapoor of course (HEE HEE HEE)

Snoopy would definitely beat me hands down in this.

It was a dark and stormy night...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
Blew the wind...
Exposing the fragile layers of his mind to the riffling fingers of his furtive subconscious.
He woke with a start.
He started to rise.
He rose to his feet.
His feet were cold and felt prickly.
Needles were coursing through his veins... He wanted to peel his skin off as if he were afraid something else had crawled in there with him that night.

Eyes staring wide rotated in their sockets and focused on the drapes.

"Damned weather... Screw this @!$#*^*!! window...!"

He went back to sleep.

(Hey thats ME!!!)

LOOK MA, I'M ON A BLOG!!

Nelly Furtado, amongst other things...

Blogs are the BEST.
Because you don't get digital tomatoes slung at you... Not yet anyways, would trust the liberal minded people to come up with something like that sometime or the other...
Ugh.

Anyway.

If I kinda rephrase Nelly Furtado... I'm Gonna Say What I Want... What Are YOU Gonna Do? So Powerless...

Cheeky, eh?

I LOVE THIS!

Recompensation.

Today after a hiatus of about 10 days... I'm well.
It's such a great blessing to be in complete health and in control of your senses.
Not that I ever lose control of my senses, but just in case... He he he.

It all started on the 6th of this month.

A birthday party.
(Overeating at around midnight is seriously NOT RECOMMENDED.)
That too with heavy special emphasis on the meat and chicken section of the menu.

Then some time later came the glorious 8th.
Me and one of my friends went somewhere...
The ride, plus the food, plus the ride back, plus the food we ate when we came back (GLUTTONS!)
plus a special dinner with bhai at Mcllo in McLeod really helped... Plus I ate some food when I reached home.
(x_x)
Yeah I know.
(Please don't even count.)
It was the least I could do to keep myself from revulsion at the sight of food. I kept relying on home-remedies such
as hot water with lemon, ajwain, herbal tea, even antacid and homoeopathic tablets!!!

Then on the 14th, mum took me to the clinic.
Dr. Chakra--that's our GP here--prescribed me a shitload of antibiotics which I would have accepted even if he told
me they were laced with cyanide... Well not to say the least about the side effects (Grogginess, dizziness and a BIG DEAL
of water loss/dehydration) the pills worked!
I can announce with shamefaced pride that I am a cured man.
(Mentally as well.)

Since I have now decided not to waste my life anymore and literally WAKE UP.
Rouse myself from my wasteful slumber each morn and be fresh and alert before the sun comes up.
Ah what a wonderful morning.
Yeah I know, sounds cliched yeah?
(It is!)
But its DAMN true.
(Well it wouldn't be a cliche if it wasn't true but hey who cares?!)
But I have a confession... Wonderful day and all that... But I'm in the mood for some internal cleansing today.
(EWWW.)
Okay, gross... Now I didn't mean the digestive tract related type... I'm actually mentioning

C A T H A R S I S.

(Such a BIG word ooooooooooh!)
Yeah I've been feelin' such an immense desire to watch The Green Mile/The Shawshank Redemption/Road To Perdition...
Yeah I know their music is what binds these three together in a list sorting, but that's exactly what I did... I'm getting the
OST of each movie and I'm LISTENING to it instead.

I close my eyes and visualize the scenes with each track.

Mental exercise, yeah?

(o_O)

Shut up.

My Happy Everything

Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.
Lohri.

V-Day. (!)

And now... My independence.

I never thought getting out of a bad relationship would teach me so much. It gave me a figurative kick up the backside... But did the job nonetheless. And very well indeed, if I may say so myself.

Its been around a month (heck I don't even remember the date!) since I broke up. An end to a bad year. I got my own back.
Life is funny! Just when I was in the doldrums somebody popped up out of the blue and rescued me. It was Abhay Deol with Oye Lucky Lucky Oye!
The masterpiece nobody noticed.

I've watched it 5 times at home already and I am still amazed each time.

I do take care not to watch the movie in quick succession because that's the only way to completely alienate a film from your mind.
And again, the upcoming Dev.D...
A crazy movie!!! I haven't seen it yet, but judging by the soundtrack, its another piece of work that can easily fall prey to libels and labels... But in the end, if I can say anything, it is that my previous experience of Anurag Kashyap has been mind blowing (BLACK FRIDAY).

Saawan barse...

I guess.

And one more thing as a parting shot... Can a boy and girl remain good friends? If everything about them is so well matched that it seems they were made for each other?
And if you throw in the fact that the girl is the boy's ex-girlfriend's friend... Then?

You get my drift.

The word "fuck"

After a bluetooth session with my dear friend Sourabh I was in possession of an obscurely titled mp3 file.
Must have been a recording or some show on TV.

The guy sounded like a South Indian, Christian maybe...

Excellent five minute discourse on the word "FUCK".
-It is the most beautiful word in the English language
-It can be used as an intransitive and transitive verb
-Its tone and context can denote pleasure, pain, hostility, apathy, disgust, rage, etc. etc.

Fucking funny.

(sic)

'Twas not hubris...

I think that the main reason for the Xerxes incident at Thermopylae was not, in fact, hubris.

It was a simple miscalculation on his part to assume that the Spartans would bow to his wishes.
Alright, he managed to get a major part of his attacking force decimated, but at the cost of scandal and shame... Humiliation and finally defeat at the spear-points of the entire Spartan army.
Where 300 tried SO HARD and SO LONG, but failed... The Spartan army was victorious.

What were the words... "Remember Us".

DO we?

Or for that matter... Take us Indian Hindustani Bharatis...
Do we remember the sacrifices of our nation? Do we carry those ideals still? Those ideals for which our men, women and children were attacked viciously?
I'm not talking about Mahatma Gandhi or any political leader such as Nehru or Bose...

I'm talking about the REAL grassroot level heroes... Bhagat Singh and countless, nameless, faceless others...

I don't know why I'm in such a patriotic state of mind today, which is VERY UNUSUAL for me.
But heck. I'm ashamed of the way I live my life as an Indian.

What IS Indian in me right now?

I have difficulties in speaking Hindi. If I continue in Hindi for too long, I eventually mess up.
I think in English. I speak English. I read, write and breathe the English language.

Indian customs don't interest me. I don't go to any temples. I don't like Indian weddings.

India as a country is lost on me.

Its a profound sorrow that I feel. At my utter ignorance. Who am I?
A stranger in a strange land.
This place is my home. MY COUNTRY.
But there is no feeling of belonging burning in my heart.
Perhaps its all relative.

I never wanna shame the blood in my veins/
and bring pain to my sweet grandfather's face/
in his resting place/I made haste to learn/
and not waste everything my forefathers earned in tears/
for my culture...

I'm so sorry... But this is who I am.