Intentions... Cruel and otherwise.

Intent.

What it means is basically our reason to do something. The CAUSE behind the EFFECT.

It can be positive, negative, frivolous, chivalrous, vain, selfless, selfish, secret, public...

So on and so forth.

It can be anything so long as it is an intent.

When we translate it into actions, words or basically the EFFECT... It becomes part of this world.

It gets born.

It gets serious.

We can use the corny line, then the game begins.

We can't change the effects of our intentions. That would be like hoping to change time.

However, we cook up the intentions, don't we? We can change. People can change.

That's my contention. I believe in that with all my heart.

I also believe that we live in a real world. Not a Disney inspired fantasy land with emphasis on politically correct and HAPPY ENDING stories.

It could take ages for a person to bring about a change in him/her self. Perhaps by that time it would be too late. But the intent remains, however. The intent behind change.

YES.

Our personality, soul, identity can change according to our inclinations, weaknesses, strengths, desires, fears, and ambitions.

The root cause is intent.

What do we want?

Why do we want it?

What do we need?

Why do we need it?

These questions are among the most fundamentally threatening ones in existence.

I do not believe myself wise enough to answer even one of them, not even in regard to myself.

Pure folly.

(Hey nonny-no, hey nonny-no.)

Teh Bible... (sic)

I'm a born again believer...

Of teh Ceiling Cat's Lolcat Bible kthxbai.

It's just awesome!

I've been checking it out for the past couple of days... Laughing insanely all alone in the room... At dead hours of night.

But... It's great! srsly.

All right, enough of the lolspeak.

Frankly speaking, I can think of a lotta dyed in the wool religious people who're gonna have huge problems with this... Movement. But then again, these people contributing to the LOLcat Bible aren't corrupting the word of God... Merely transliterating it into another... Dialect(?).

I respect that. I'm moved sufficiently enough to submit my own contribution by the end of this week... (Should be finished with Genesis by then!! w00t!)

Anyway... Gotta go be NOMin some stuff...

srsly.

Is

I love the word is.

It just IS.

Let me begin by describing my Sunday-so far-to myself...

Boring. Unexpectedly hot. And lousy.

How's THAT for cheerful?

Now I know that being positive really helps. But what to do when one is surrounded by things that drag and nag and... Aughh... Whatever.

I feel like an afternoon siesta. But they expired long ago. I don't know, I'm just not feeling the vibe today... Kinda like a storm brewing. The stillness, I mean. It reminds me of the ominously sultry weather right before a big mother of a blowout.

Philosophically speaking, I might as well go to sleep and perchance to dream, wake up in a different realm of the obvious.

Or I could keep pounding the crap out of my keyboard and let go of all reservations... Just kinda like... Resign myself to whatever's happening.

Hey maybe nothing at all is happening and I'm just lending existence a bit of an overrated character. Take it easy. Simplicity is the watchword.

Carnage.

Something about the day makes me want to turn inside myself and shiver deep down to my bones. Have a good dose of the shakes, as it were.

Could I have some hiccups over here please?

No I Don't!!!

When the truth is found to be lies...

And all the joy within you dies...

Don't you want somebody to love...

Don't you need somebody to love...

Naw... I don't think so.

Even if the garden flowers are DEAD!!! Anyway... Jefferson Airplane is retro but I don't really... Get them... Yeah. I don't.

I was designing a website today... And I just made a ridiculous connection!

Life is also a 'template'... Much like those boxy things you can squeeze stuff into... Text, graphics, animations... etc.

At least, mine is. I can really make each day a mirror image of the last, though I don't often do that.

Kinda dangerous, living each day the same. Groundhog Day? I better stay away from that one.

Anyway, what would a total blue day FEEL like. To someone who isn't blue, that is.

Not blue, obviously. So there we go, template!

I also realized it feels good to hear songs in foreign languages you don't understand AT ALL.

Liberating!

The souls of my shoes

My shoes are decrepit.

No other word for 'em. Except maybe:

Beat up.

Raped.

Screwed.

Abused.

But damn... I love those chucks... So comfy... So personal...

Anyway.

There's a song I like... By Death Cab For Cutie..

Starts off with...

Love of mine, one day you will die...

It's got a line that basically says we've seen the world... From Bangkok to Calgary... And the soles of our shoes... etc etc.

I love that song. I love the whole soundtrack for The Invisible.

I spent a whole lotta bandwidth on downloading it. Long live the free world!

I was reading up on the word simulacrum the other day.

It's definition is different but Baudrillard DEFINITELY said... It does NOT hide the truth.

Functionality.

Exchange.

Symbolism.

Signs.

Give me a chance to hold on... But it's really like a mental exercise to read stuff like that. I was reading essays today... Some old ones... And I was reading, An Apology For Idlers...

I really need to get a bit more corpulent(sic).

Anyway... Reviewing this whole entry tempted me to delete it and log out due to pure shame.

I'm rambling.

It was a full moon yesternight. So maybe that's why.

Sue me.

Lookin' up...

I never pray.

Neither do I have any moments where I clutch my hands to my chest and fervently mouth the words... "Oh God please...."

It's a waste of time.

I don't have His number.

Even if I did... Would be busy all the time.

I remember Gandhiji... Don't really remember the exact words but he basically said... If you're in the dumps... Take a look around you...

There's always gonna be some sore ass loser who is more fucked than you are.

And so... I never ever look up.

Damn my neck.

To sleep, perchance to sleep... YAAAWN.

I watched The Prestige today around 4.00pm and since then I've been in a state of inertia.
Emotional upheaval aside, the ramifications and the philosophical summing up aside... I cried my heart out. It wasn't quite what I was asking for, when I wanted The Green Mile etc... But this served the purpose.
Effective doppelganger.

Imagine what a great impact it had on me!!! I've been listening to Massive Attack since evening!
Black Milk, Mezzanine, Inertia Creeps et al... Whoo.

I just found out that this 22nd of April coincidentally happens to be Earth Day... Go green!
And Go (to) Chandigarh!!

We are all very curious. Yet we know so little about ourselves. The acts that others do that make us cringe in shock and mutter imprecations under our breath are the very facts that would come naturally to the most sane and civilized of us... Everyone is a monster. Its good we don't have a clue about what we can do. Most of our lives we walk right past that little unmarked door inside our heads. If, God forbid, we opened it... Who knows what would burst through?
And here comes a last question... Last, that is, before I power down my brain for tonight:-
If we suddenly unlock THE DOOR... Is what comes out what makes us who we are? Or is it what we choose to do with what comes out?

Tell you what,
I'll sleep on it.