Its never easier to run for me.
I can't. It's a disadvantage.
I hate that.
When the whole of this goddamned humanity is running away from itself... Why the heck am I unable to even think about turning my back?
Sheeeeesh.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Angry Scientists
There was this character in the cartoon show Sheep In The Big City...
The Mad Scientist... No... The ANGRY Scientist.
I mean he kept insisting throughout the show that he was 'Annnnngreee'... with some measure of frustration and despair at General Specific's thickheadedness...
I liked the cartoon.
The relevance of all this sidetracking is that I'm feeling pretty much the Mad/Angry Scientist right now.
It's a very disgusting Sunday. I hate Sundays. There isn't any promise of anything in it today.
Not even a hope to make it beautiful or at least worth enduring.
I don't even have the courage to go fall asleep!
So here I am, hoping to turn my mind to other things, which I'm prolific at. There's a heap of sketches and drawings that need scanning pronto... As well as some story-making.
But seriously, do I have the mental energy for that?
May I add, that although these are cerebellum intensive actions, the abovementioned stories are a fuel, a catalyst in their own right. So I shouldn't really worry about a fuse blowing up in my cerebral cortex.
I'm guessing its just plain Sid the sloth-ness.
Oh by the way, I watched Ice Age again last night. Moves me EVERY time.
And then I regret ignoring my animating talents. Oh well, there's a time for everything.
Spilling tea on my dog, included. Ouch. Dumb mutt lays just in the place my foot wants to go.
"Yeh kaisi ghari aayi, sujhe nahi hai kuch bhi..."
That's a line from Abhijeet Sawant's song, Tere Bina...
Perfect for what I'm experiencing right now. What the hell did God mean when he put such a mind inside of ME???
Total wastage, man... Maybe somebody else would've been more deserving.
I know I don't even utilize 90% of my mind... The majority of Earth's population don't, either...
But that doesn't mean I have to be like them.
I was thrown back to those days, those memories of my childhood yesterday... So many things I had forgotten, so many things I didn't know...
ABOUT ME.
Say something new, one can tell me.
But it's true. I have no recollection of my early childhood. Save one or two memories at the age of three, I have no memories of my child-child-childhood. Like before the age of five.
I understand that it's not anything alarming, MANY people don't remember.
But then again, DO I have t o be like them?
My mum remembers everything about her childhood. She recollects things in such vivid detail that one wonders at her mortality. She wasn't meant for being a human. She could easily have been one of the ever vigilant angels up high.
Ahh... But where would I have been then...?
An unborn seed, hurtling through limbo, neither possessing enough energy to break free, neither going back to the cosmic source.
Actually we're all bacteria. Sorta kinda humbles you, doesn't it... That the very things you pop pills against and get shots against are actually what you were.
There's a line in the movie Dirty, spoken by Clifton Collins, Jr.'s character, Officer Sancho...
In the end you can't change who you are or where you come from. You'll always have that same heart inside.
I agree. We do behave like scum most of the time.
PEACE.
The Mad Scientist... No... The ANGRY Scientist.
I mean he kept insisting throughout the show that he was 'Annnnngreee'... with some measure of frustration and despair at General Specific's thickheadedness...
I liked the cartoon.
The relevance of all this sidetracking is that I'm feeling pretty much the Mad/Angry Scientist right now.
It's a very disgusting Sunday. I hate Sundays. There isn't any promise of anything in it today.
Not even a hope to make it beautiful or at least worth enduring.
I don't even have the courage to go fall asleep!
So here I am, hoping to turn my mind to other things, which I'm prolific at. There's a heap of sketches and drawings that need scanning pronto... As well as some story-making.
But seriously, do I have the mental energy for that?
May I add, that although these are cerebellum intensive actions, the abovementioned stories are a fuel, a catalyst in their own right. So I shouldn't really worry about a fuse blowing up in my cerebral cortex.
I'm guessing its just plain Sid the sloth-ness.
Oh by the way, I watched Ice Age again last night. Moves me EVERY time.
And then I regret ignoring my animating talents. Oh well, there's a time for everything.
Spilling tea on my dog, included. Ouch. Dumb mutt lays just in the place my foot wants to go.
"Yeh kaisi ghari aayi, sujhe nahi hai kuch bhi..."
That's a line from Abhijeet Sawant's song, Tere Bina...
Perfect for what I'm experiencing right now. What the hell did God mean when he put such a mind inside of ME???
Total wastage, man... Maybe somebody else would've been more deserving.
I know I don't even utilize 90% of my mind... The majority of Earth's population don't, either...
But that doesn't mean I have to be like them.
I was thrown back to those days, those memories of my childhood yesterday... So many things I had forgotten, so many things I didn't know...
ABOUT ME.
Say something new, one can tell me.
But it's true. I have no recollection of my early childhood. Save one or two memories at the age of three, I have no memories of my child-child-childhood. Like before the age of five.
I understand that it's not anything alarming, MANY people don't remember.
But then again, DO I have t o be like them?
My mum remembers everything about her childhood. She recollects things in such vivid detail that one wonders at her mortality. She wasn't meant for being a human. She could easily have been one of the ever vigilant angels up high.
Ahh... But where would I have been then...?
An unborn seed, hurtling through limbo, neither possessing enough energy to break free, neither going back to the cosmic source.
Actually we're all bacteria. Sorta kinda humbles you, doesn't it... That the very things you pop pills against and get shots against are actually what you were.
There's a line in the movie Dirty, spoken by Clifton Collins, Jr.'s character, Officer Sancho...
In the end you can't change who you are or where you come from. You'll always have that same heart inside.
I agree. We do behave like scum most of the time.
PEACE.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Of L.P. and Sands...
No I haven't become so numb...
But I love this line from this great song by the masters of Nu Metal. Linkin Park, as great bands go, isn't the BEST... But it definitely has a presence, and a commanding one at that.
It's a dull boring Saturday. I hate Saturdays. One more day added to the list of Mondays and Sundays to aggravate my misery. I'm at a dead end with my software project... This will mean that I’m not in any mood to handle any messy programming on my part. It'll just have to wait till Monday. I'll dump it all on my supervisor's lap... (I hope... ha!!!)
But what do I do TODAY!!!???
I've got a couple of loose ends I need to see to. Meet somebody maybe, maybe not. All that matters to me is doing something, seeing something, hearing something that will make this day into a better experience. Earlier, like in second year of college, and before that, I used to wake up on a Saturday morning full of hope and expectation... It used to be an off day.
Guess the charm wore off pretty quick.
I remember there's a part in Antoine de St. Exupery's "Little Prince" when the little prince goes to see a fox. The fox is hiding at the edge of the farmers' fields. The fox says to the Little Prince that all the farmers celebrate today as their holiday and go to drink together. That day the fox lays waste to their fields. The little prince is surprised. The farmers can surely leave somebody behind to guard the crops... right?
The fox explains that people have a strange tendency to enjoy and respect, to cherish something as long as it is in short supply...
As long as they are accustomed to having that particular thing on special/rare occasions, they respect it. Once it is a matter of fact thing for them, it loses its value in their perception.
The fox says all this in the context of holidays... If every day was a Sunday, the farmers wouldn't feel like celebrating. But since they work all week and get one day to enjoy themselves, they don't mind about the fox eating up their crops.
What happened later was that the fox got 'tamed' by the Little Prince.
And when it was time for the Little Prince to return, the fox was deeply moved. And he explained his 'taming' in the same context as he had explained the farmers' holiday phenomenon.
It was a very moving experience for me. Now I realize that at the tender age of 11 I had read one of the most important pieces of literature ever written.
I cried copiously at the Little Prince's return. And I got a phobia of sand into the bargain...
I still don't understand it.
Hail LP!!!
(The Little Prince)
But I love this line from this great song by the masters of Nu Metal. Linkin Park, as great bands go, isn't the BEST... But it definitely has a presence, and a commanding one at that.
It's a dull boring Saturday. I hate Saturdays. One more day added to the list of Mondays and Sundays to aggravate my misery. I'm at a dead end with my software project... This will mean that I’m not in any mood to handle any messy programming on my part. It'll just have to wait till Monday. I'll dump it all on my supervisor's lap... (I hope... ha!!!)
But what do I do TODAY!!!???
I've got a couple of loose ends I need to see to. Meet somebody maybe, maybe not. All that matters to me is doing something, seeing something, hearing something that will make this day into a better experience. Earlier, like in second year of college, and before that, I used to wake up on a Saturday morning full of hope and expectation... It used to be an off day.
Guess the charm wore off pretty quick.
I remember there's a part in Antoine de St. Exupery's "Little Prince" when the little prince goes to see a fox. The fox is hiding at the edge of the farmers' fields. The fox says to the Little Prince that all the farmers celebrate today as their holiday and go to drink together. That day the fox lays waste to their fields. The little prince is surprised. The farmers can surely leave somebody behind to guard the crops... right?
The fox explains that people have a strange tendency to enjoy and respect, to cherish something as long as it is in short supply...
As long as they are accustomed to having that particular thing on special/rare occasions, they respect it. Once it is a matter of fact thing for them, it loses its value in their perception.
The fox says all this in the context of holidays... If every day was a Sunday, the farmers wouldn't feel like celebrating. But since they work all week and get one day to enjoy themselves, they don't mind about the fox eating up their crops.
What happened later was that the fox got 'tamed' by the Little Prince.
And when it was time for the Little Prince to return, the fox was deeply moved. And he explained his 'taming' in the same context as he had explained the farmers' holiday phenomenon.
It was a very moving experience for me. Now I realize that at the tender age of 11 I had read one of the most important pieces of literature ever written.
I cried copiously at the Little Prince's return. And I got a phobia of sand into the bargain...
I still don't understand it.
Hail LP!!!
(The Little Prince)
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Evil Tidings
Something distinctly fishy is afoot with my PC...
Seems someone's been re-scheduling dates of my weekly virus scan to get in Worms...
I hope this was a one - time job, otherwise I'll have to begin haunting the cybercafes again.
Like a bad penny, a virus pops in JUST at the time when your machine's running smooth.
That's life. That's the age of technology. That's my luck.
I was noticing something weird about today.
It doesn't seem like a BIRTHDAY day... Ha! Not mine, but my younger brother turned 16 and the day hadn't an iota of difference from what yesterday was like, or what tomorrow will turn out to be. Except for the "Operation DinnerOut" and the crazy mindless ride at night we had.
Maybe it's an 'age' thing?
Like, maybe when you grow old-er you lose the feeling of enchantment that used to take over and permeate your senses on moments leading up to your birthday...
It's a sad, sad world we live in.
What I would like to know is...
How does one go about apologizing to somebody you've HURT BADLY.... Badly enough to make that particular person feel like forgetting you...?
And what's worse... (in my case, selectively... because not all people are blessed with a temper like mine)
How does one fend off the rising tide of anger and frustration at the repeated ignores and the repeated I-don't-know-you-I-don't-want-to attitudes...?
Huh????
Huh???
Well I'll be.. The luckiest person on the planet if Waheguru ji showed me some revelatory flash, some epiphany...
But these things are like VERY ephemeral flashes in the pan.
Till then, my compliments to people who have their P.R. department taken care of.
"Tali talai roti kaun nahi khata?"
ME.
Seems someone's been re-scheduling dates of my weekly virus scan to get in Worms...
I hope this was a one - time job, otherwise I'll have to begin haunting the cybercafes again.
Like a bad penny, a virus pops in JUST at the time when your machine's running smooth.
That's life. That's the age of technology. That's my luck.
I was noticing something weird about today.
It doesn't seem like a BIRTHDAY day... Ha! Not mine, but my younger brother turned 16 and the day hadn't an iota of difference from what yesterday was like, or what tomorrow will turn out to be. Except for the "Operation DinnerOut" and the crazy mindless ride at night we had.
Maybe it's an 'age' thing?
Like, maybe when you grow old-er you lose the feeling of enchantment that used to take over and permeate your senses on moments leading up to your birthday...
It's a sad, sad world we live in.
What I would like to know is...
How does one go about apologizing to somebody you've HURT BADLY.... Badly enough to make that particular person feel like forgetting you...?
And what's worse... (in my case, selectively... because not all people are blessed with a temper like mine)
How does one fend off the rising tide of anger and frustration at the repeated ignores and the repeated I-don't-know-you-I-don't-want-to attitudes...?
Huh????
Huh???
Well I'll be.. The luckiest person on the planet if Waheguru ji showed me some revelatory flash, some epiphany...
But these things are like VERY ephemeral flashes in the pan.
Till then, my compliments to people who have their P.R. department taken care of.
"Tali talai roti kaun nahi khata?"
ME.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Home Sweet Home
Nothing beats blogging peacefully at home on your desktop.
For me, that is.
Finally got this tortoise-ish dial-up activated. It's slow but heck, better than nothing.
It's getting to become sorta kinda summerish. Although the whole day just blew past me in a whirl of heat, I still felt the tinge of the monsoons (HOPEFULLY FAR AWAY!!!) in the evening.
Talking about evenings, I had three assignments to do today... My litle bro's practical file, and some project data I had to do for a friend, as well as a long and beautiful moonlight ride to the army cantonement area here, on my friend's Royal Enfield.
Damn... Each time I ride it, I regret not buying it. Anyway, I have my hopes set on getting one after my final term exams...
Graduation before my teen years end... Will this prove to be a boon or a thing to take in stride?
I have no concrete argument for that, but I will defnitely vouch for my mum's conviction that I should give it a go.
I still remember that balmy August afternoon.... I was sick, curled up in bed and watching cartoons... Mum and dad came home. Mum said, "You have B.Sc classes from next week"
I literally went ballistic. Shot out of my invalid atmosphere and my bed and pounced on her.
Hell, I don't even remember what all crap I must've said to her.
Luckily I wasn't THAT thickheaded (Or maybe it was her unique style of convincing me) and mum ended up getting me to agree to go.
I'm pleased.
Thank you mom.
For me, that is.
Finally got this tortoise-ish dial-up activated. It's slow but heck, better than nothing.
It's getting to become sorta kinda summerish. Although the whole day just blew past me in a whirl of heat, I still felt the tinge of the monsoons (HOPEFULLY FAR AWAY!!!) in the evening.
Talking about evenings, I had three assignments to do today... My litle bro's practical file, and some project data I had to do for a friend, as well as a long and beautiful moonlight ride to the army cantonement area here, on my friend's Royal Enfield.
Damn... Each time I ride it, I regret not buying it. Anyway, I have my hopes set on getting one after my final term exams...
Graduation before my teen years end... Will this prove to be a boon or a thing to take in stride?
I have no concrete argument for that, but I will defnitely vouch for my mum's conviction that I should give it a go.
I still remember that balmy August afternoon.... I was sick, curled up in bed and watching cartoons... Mum and dad came home. Mum said, "You have B.Sc classes from next week"
I literally went ballistic. Shot out of my invalid atmosphere and my bed and pounced on her.
Hell, I don't even remember what all crap I must've said to her.
Luckily I wasn't THAT thickheaded (Or maybe it was her unique style of convincing me) and mum ended up getting me to agree to go.
I'm pleased.
Thank you mom.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
D-Day
It's D-Day.
8th April in this year of our Lord, 2008 Anno Domini...
And my bro's got his exams starting from today.
My deepest condolences... To the papers, that is.
Peace.
8th April in this year of our Lord, 2008 Anno Domini...
And my bro's got his exams starting from today.
My deepest condolences... To the papers, that is.
Peace.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Post Scriptum... umm... ummm...
Reading the last post...
I felt ashamed.
How the hell could I put bhai sahab at 1st place... That goes to my mum. Who put up with all of my bullcrap all this time and still tried to instil some sense into my thick cranium.
Mr. Sourabh Arora comes second. But nonetheless, whatever happened, with me, couldn't have occurred without his timely interventions.
This is one thing I'm never ever gonna forget. God didn't give me a sign... He pushed me i nto the way of the big gigantic force that changed my outlook, attitude, behaviour, growth and sense forever.
Still,I do regret and I do feel ashamed about all the things I did and said. I never cease to marvel at the love and affection that I received, and that too despite all my antics.
WHEW!!!
If I was the parent here, I would've disowned me...
I felt ashamed.
How the hell could I put bhai sahab at 1st place... That goes to my mum. Who put up with all of my bullcrap all this time and still tried to instil some sense into my thick cranium.
Mr. Sourabh Arora comes second. But nonetheless, whatever happened, with me, couldn't have occurred without his timely interventions.
This is one thing I'm never ever gonna forget. God didn't give me a sign... He pushed me i nto the way of the big gigantic force that changed my outlook, attitude, behaviour, growth and sense forever.
Still,I do regret and I do feel ashamed about all the things I did and said. I never cease to marvel at the love and affection that I received, and that too despite all my antics.
WHEW!!!
If I was the parent here, I would've disowned me...
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